Hi, Not Ok

Hi Not OK [Intro - soft spoken, gentle guitar] Hi… not okay I see you again today [Verse 1 - quiet, vulnerable spoken-word] There’s this feeling inside, heavy and vague Something’s just not right but I can’t name the page No trigger I can point to, no clear smoking gun Just a low hum of “wrong” that follows me around I smile, I show up, I get the job done But every word, every step weighs a ton Enthusiasm? That left the room long ago I’m functioning on empty, putting on the show [Pre-Chorus - building intensity] Eighty percent of the days I’m almost alright Twenty percent I’m curled in a ball, out of sight Dissociation kicks in, emotions just leave My body’s still here but I’m watching from the eaves [Chorus - melodic, rising with emotion] Hi, not okay… I see you I know you’re trying so hard to get through Hi, not okay… I feel you You don’t have to hide what the world never knew Let the tears come if they need to fall You’re not broken, you’re surviving it all [Verse 2 - faster rap, raw and confrontational] Flashbacks in the quiet, nightmares in the dark Childhood lessons still pulling on my heart Freeze, fawn, disappear when the threat gets near Say “I’m fine” while the inside disappears Work days lost to sobbing in the car Friend’s shirt soaked like a reservoir I beg the feeling to just tell me its name But it stays silent, playing its cruel game [Pre-Chorus - even bigger] Eighty percent of the days I’m almost alright Twenty percent the waves crash through the night Therapy’s teaching me to name what I feel DBT grounding me so the numbness can heal [Chorus - full power, harmonies stacking] Hi, not okay… I see you I know you’re trying so hard to get through Hi, not okay… I feel you You don’t have to hide what the world never knew Let the tears come if they need to fall You’re not broken, you’re surviving it all [Bridge - theatrical spoken-word build, guitar intensifies] I’m not losing this fight, I’m learning the rules The past isn’t the end, it’s just where I start from today My life isn’t over, I’m still here and I’m staying I want to see tomorrow, I want to see who I’ll be I release the shame, I drop the blame I open my hands… and I breathe [Final Chorus - explosive, cathartic rap + singing] Hi, not okay… I see you And I’m learning to hold you like you held me too Hi, not okay… I got you We’re eighty percent stronger than we ever knew The waves still come but they don’t own me now I’m here, I’m healing, I’m figuring out how Hi, not okay… thank you for showing me the way [Outro - soft again, fading guitar] Hi… not okay But I’m still here And that’s enough for today