Absence Of Colour

[Verse 1] I still flinch when the kettle clicks Even though it’s only steam My shoulders still climb toward my ears Before my brain can intervene You reach for me across the table I pull back half an inch too far We both pretend we didn’t notice But the body had already moved [Pre-Chorus] The mind says we’re safe now The body never got the news It still keeps one foot out the door Like it’s waiting for the bruise [Chorus] Muscle memory Won’t let the old me die Muscle memory Still bracing for the lie We left the lights on, we chose to stay But the body keeps its own account Muscle memory Is the last thing that won’t back down [Verse 2] You still sleep with one eye open I still check the locks at night We laugh about it in the morning But the habit fits just right Sometimes when you say my name soft I hear the old tone underneath And for half a second I’m ten years old Waiting for the floor to leave [Pre-Chorus 2] The mind says we’re different The body says it’s heard that before It still reads every silence Like it still expects the war [Chorus] Muscle memory Won’t let the old me die Muscle memory Still bracing for the lie We left the lights on, we chose to stay But the body keeps its own account Muscle memory Is the last thing that won’t back down [Bridge] I thought time would rewrite the code Thought love would burn the reflexes out Turns out healing isn’t erasure It’s just learning how to talk the body down No fixer, no miracle, no clean erase Just two people and the ghosts they still carry This is the mercy in the damage We stay anyway [Final Chorus] Muscle memory Won’t let the old me die Muscle memory Still bracing for the lie We left the lights on, we chose to stay And the body’s finally learning how to count Muscle memory Is finally starting to stand down Starting to stand down [Outro] Still flinching Still checking Still here Still here