Not Losing It

[Verse 1] Every picture in the hallway leaned a little left Every sentence hit the air and came back wearing someone else I got good at second-guessing what I knew before I spoke Started sanding down my edges just to keep the whole thing smooth Called it patience, called it kindness Called it “maybe I’m the one” Till I couldn’t hear my own thoughts Without asking who they came from [Pre-Chorus] I kept fixing my reflection In a mirror made to bend Tried to make peace with a feeling That never should’ve fit my skin [Chorus] Not losing it The room was tilted the whole damn time Not losing it I just got tired of calling crooked straight Not losing it I can feel the floor under my feet again Not losing it Just finally seeing what shape this was in [Verse 2] There was smoke in every answer, static in the wires Every “trust me” came wrapped up in one more little doubt And I wore it like a tailored coat, neat across the chest Like if I stayed calm enough, the math would all come clean Like if I stayed calm enough, the math would all come clean But the windows had a shimmer And the doorframe wouldn’t sit Somewhere in my body Something kept refusing it [Pre-Chorus] I was learning how to vanish In a language dressed as care Till the truth came back in fragments And started clearing out the air [Chorus] Not losing it The room was tilted the whole damn time Not losing it I just got tired of calling crooked straight Not losing it I can feel the floor under my feet again Not losing it Just finally seeing what shape this was in [Bridge] Maybe I was never confused Maybe I was cornered Maybe the fog had fingerprints Maybe the blur was not my fault Maybe survival just looks strange When you’ve been living under warped glass Maybe clarity Is not a lightning bolt Maybe it’s just The frame giving up [Final Chorus] Not losing it The walls were leaning, I was learning to brace Not losing it I just got done apologizing to my own mind Not losing it Now the air sits still enough to breathe again Not losing it Just finally seeing what shape I was in [Outro] The light was wrong That’s all The light was wrong